I'm back and have a lot to say....

I'm still in the fight for weight loss.  However, I haven't lost anything since we last "spoke."  I actually was up to 163 but now I'm back to 160.  I have been working out regularly, but not eating cleanly, healthily, dieting....whichever term you use, I have not been doing it.  I honestly believe part of the reason I've been struggling to get back on board is because I was away from my blog.  When I did WW in the past, I don't think my success was due to the plan....I think it was the accountability.  I'm an over-achiever.....so I didn't want to get on the scale and have anyone tell me I was "up" any pounds.  I wanted to show that I could do it, if to no one else but to myself, and by being weighed in weekly it kept me honest.  I appreciate you all so much for being my "lady behind the desk" and being concerned about me while gone.  I realize, that I while I can do it without you - I don't want to.  I know I will be much more successful with you.  I've missed reading your stories, encouraging and supporting you, joining your challenges, giving cyber hugs, and literally smiling so hard at the screen when you report a milestone that you've surpassed.  It is amazing how much you have come to mean to me.

Now onto some of the life type updates...

• My laptop died!  But I gave it electric shocks and brought it back to life!  That would've been a disaster of ginormous proportions!  So I'm glad I could cancel that funeral!
• My brother has been on a workout plan and has helped a young girl at church lose about 40 pounds in a little less than 4 months.  And I am jealous!  Like deep seeded jealous!  I feel he hasn't called me, supported me, encouraged me, helped me at all!  And although this young lady is 21 (and at 21 when I did WW the weight did fly offa me) and is a completely different person than I am, I can't help but feel she has taken up time that belongs to me.  And she's being doing that in other ways with my brother as well...and here is the only place I will allow myself to admit my jealousy aloud.....which feels good to let out.
• I've been concentrating a lot on my spiritual growth.  I changed churches a few months ago and have gained so much knowledge since then.  It was truly divine intervention that led me to this church where I am being provided exactly what I need.  This is partially the reason I was away from blogging.
• I met someone very nice.  I will update on that in the future if there is still something to update on at that time!  But I pray that it is something that will bring me happiness and content and not pain or hurt.  And I believe God will graciously answer that prayer.  And regardless of whether it leads to friendship or a relationship, that is enough for me!
• I am studying for boards....the MAIN reason I've been away from blogging.  Once a certain length of time goes by it feels like I have too much to say to do a "quick" blog!  So....I end up putting it off until I have more time, which of course never seemed to come!  Hence the reason I'm up at 3 a.m. typing!
• I have not and will not stop losing until I have reached my goal.  No matter whether I am blogging or not, trust me, I am in this to win this.  Whether I have setbacks, gains or losses, I am in this for life.  Never will I disappear and say....I just gave up.  No No NO NO NO!  NEVER!  20 years from now I hope to be blogging (about maintaining my loss of course) and continuing to talk about my journey.  This is for life!   135 here I come! 

In any event, I appreciate each and every one of you and will do my best to catch up on your lives, weight loss journeys, in one case pregnancy, and recoveries.  You all are definitely in my prayers....especially Tammy for a permanent position and Pam for reasons she knows.  Seriously, I mean it - I have been praying for you regardless of the length of time I've been "gone."  Now....back to the regularly scheduled weight loss!  XOXOXOXOXO!