Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Weekend in Memphis!

Hello Everyone!  I pray you are all doing very well!  This weekend an old friend was within a 3-4 hour drive of where I reside and called me out of the blue and asked if I'd come for a weekend visit.  Initially my response was the same ole automatic monotone "I don't have the time, I have to study, and I don't have the money"  His response was...."I'm sure you could use a break knowing your work ethic, you'll be rejuvenated and just get here and I will take care of the rest."  My friends all encouraged me to go (those who are also in med school and those who aren't) so I did something completely out of character and acted spontaneously!  I packed my weekend bag and hopped in the car the very next day!  I'd been saying I need to visit all the nearby cities (Nashville, Atlanta, Memphis) anyway while I am living here, and this was the perfect opportunity.  I had a ball!  My friend is always great company, is the perfect gentleman, and absolutely did take care of everything....including the entertainment plans.  At the risk of setting the feminist movement back a few years....ladies, isn't it nice to have a man (platonic or romantic) take charge and all you have to do is sit back and follow his lead?  Well, I thought it was nice!  We visited Beale Street, drove by Graceland and the Stax Museum, saw the movie Inception (which was incredibly good) and went to the National Civil Rights Museum.  The NCRM was incredible....I think it is definitely something every single person should see at one point in their life.  I admit ignorance when it comes to history:  both American and Black, I'm no where near as knowledgeable as I should be due to lack of emphasis on this subject in high school and lack of requirements while in college.  I learned a great deal and found myself getting extremely emotional by some of the exhibits and documentaries.

Now about the food....I swear living in the south makes you fat.  I've said it ever since I moved here.  We went to Neely's BBQ, as Memphis is known for its BBQ and as I studied the menu I was appalled.  All of the dishes came with the option of 2 sides but not ONE of them was a vegetable!  French fries, potato salad, baked beans, and BBQ spaghetti.  Simply sad.  I should be getting a new phone soon (my current one is a good for nothing PDA phone that doesn't work well at all) and like Ro I will be able to take food pics.  I wish I had it this weekend to SHOW ya'll these plates in Memphis!  I did take somewhat of a "diet-free" weekend, but still....since I've been stressing that this time I'm all about a lifelong change, that's not to say I didn't make any healthy choices or that I didn't want to eat anything healthy for the entire weekend!  I remarked about the menu and lack of vegetables to my friend and he shook his head and said "always the doctor!"  which I thought was an awesome compliment!  I DO want to be a physician who practices what she preaches!  I drank nothing but water all weekend (plain...I didn't even bring my beloved Crystal Light with me) and did some tricep dips with a chair, pushups, situps, and squats in my hotel room on Saturday.  When I got on the scale this morning I was pleasantly surprised that I hadn't gained anything!  I didn't lose...but I didn't gain and that proves it is possible to go on vacation enjoy myself, indulge a little and still stay on track.

My friend always thinks I'm overboard with worrying about managing my weight and he kept saying YOU DON'T HAVE A WEIGHT PROBLEM!  Now...I don't know if he is genuinely confused about why I seems so concerned or if he is just trying to be "polite" and disagree with me, regardless of whether he agrees or not.  I got sick of him acting as if I have self-image issues and showed him a few "before" pics from the beginning of the year and he actually was like "Oh...yeah....you were a little bigger."  Thank you for validation in what I was trying to already tell you!  Seems like guys don't believe me when I stress that I am a woman who has to "watch" what they eat and constantly try to encourage me to make bad choices in effort to show that they are pleased with my body and size as is.  This has happened to me numerous times, and it is quite frustrating.  Appreciating my body and looks is one thing, however sabotaging my efforts to live a healthy lifestyle is another thing completely.  I refuse to allow anyone - friends, family, romantic interests, church members be an enabler or sabotager.  I know what my goals are and what my agenda is and I'm going to stick to it!

I will be posting the results of my 30 day shred next week so be on the lookout for that!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Worthy of America's Funniest Home Videos!

I hadn't planned on blogging today at all. So this will definitely be a quick one.  Last night I went to the gym, rather late I may add and said "Okay....let's attempt to run for 10 minutes."  I surprised myself by making it to 5 minutes!!!  Two minutes longer than my previous "best" effort!  Very nice, but still short of my goal.  I said okay I am going to walk at a high incline for another 15 minutes then do some stair climbing and abs for a total workout time of about 40 minutes or so.  Well, I finished up my 20 minutes on the treadmill and the machine goes into cooldown mode.  I hit the "stop" button, hopped off and went to get the sanitary spray and paper towels to wipe down the machine.  I step back onto the treadmill, at which point I realize it is still moving!!!!!!!  I fall to the side and it throws me off the back into the wall directly behind it.  I say "OH MY GOD!" and just stare at the blasted thing.  Evidently hitting stop during the cool down just prompts the machine to display the workout summary.  It doesn't actually turn the thing off!  Now...this lady beside me walking at all of 3.2 mph doesn't even break stride or blink.  The lady on the elliptical in front of me turns around and says (trying to hold in her smile) "OH MY, ARE YOU OKAY?!"  I get up, say "I didn't realize the machine was still on", and notice her surpressed smile.  "Thank you for asking if I was okay before laughing, but its okay....I realize that had to be funny."  She then lets loose a wail of laughter and says "I'm glad you're okay."  I glance at the woman beside me and I'm still amazed she hasn't said a word...but whatever. 

I then promptly texted my trainer and said - this is all your fault!  You and your "go hard, every time!"  He asked if I was okay...then told me to try the 10 minutes again at a lower speed.  SMH.  Forever the trainer!  lol.

So this weekend I'm going away to a nearby city.  Its totally spontaneous and out of character for me to do something this last minute but hey....I need a break.  Normally I immediately turn-down something like this but I was just complaining to my friends and family about burnout and this is just what the doctor ordered!  I am so excited.  I need a break, time away, a weekend to party!  And party I will do!  I will have to post pics of my outfits!!!!  YESSSSSS!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

My "best" isn't your best

So...while working out with my trainer (who've I developed a deep personal relationship with) on Monday....I nearly died.  See, what had happened was....last week I was so swamped.  I volunteered to teach the teen group at Vacation Bible School, and add that to my school responsibilities, I was exhausted.  Translation: worked out very little.  So I was totally prepared to "struggle" on Monday...although I wasn't prepared to be quite that bad.  Anyways, he was getting really frustrated with me and at one point said "Look, Princess, just shuttup and do it.  No more talking, no more excuses.  Damn.......if you would just do the shit, we could've moved on by now."  So now, I'm jogging AND I'M PISSED!  How dare he get an attitude with me when I'm doing my best?!?!  Of course, now I'm panting so hard that I can't express my indignation but I held onto it until the workout was done.

"I'm trying!!!!" I exclaimed as soon as I could breath somewhat normally  "I'm doing my best and you never EVER give me any praise.  I have ONE bad week where I slack off and you don't remember all the other times I did awesome!"

"Your best isn't really the best you can do.  Your best is what your mind, not your body tells you is good enough.  I know you can do so much more...I know your capabilities by now."

Of course this made me stop and think....I probably do sell myself a little short.  In my head running for 3 minutes is good enough because previously I only ran 1-2 minutes at a time.  Although I probably could make it to 5 minutes, I accept going further than last time as good enough although I probably could do even better. 

He continued after a moment and said "Your 'best' isn't good enough....because I know it isn't really your best."

Well....I can't necessarily argue with him.  Now I'm out to change my mindset.  I need to stop having a good/hard workout only once in a while and give it 110% each and every time.  I need to stop accepting having done a workout as good enough and go HARD everytime, pushing my body beyond my comfort zone.  Is this necessary for everyone to do?  Of course not.  But when I first talked to him about my goals, I told him that's the type of person I wanted to be.  I want to be a FITNESS person, an athlete, someone who works out....not just exercises.  And God help me....I will be.  Operation MIND OVERALL in effect.  First goal, run for 10 minutes without stopping. 

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Am I missing that gene?

I'm not sure what it is that I am missing - maybe my "fat gene" replaced my "I love to workout" gene, I don't know but working out still isn't FUN for me yet!  I find myself thinking about it constantly...what am I going to do today, and if not what then when.  I've fallen off the bandwagon of doing it first thing in the morning so more times than not lately I'm up at 1 a.m. poppin' in a DVD.  I feel GREAT when I finish, but getting the motivation to get started is the difficult part for me.  I'm glad that I'm still going and so thankful each time I look in the mirror that things have elongated and flattened since the start of my journey.  But then I see things that should be further along due to my lack of discipline and I get a little frustrated with myself.  I keep reminding myself that my original goal was to go back home for the holidays at a svelte 140 lbs or less.  So with half a year gone, I essentially have 20 lbs to lose by Thanksgiving.  Doable, realistic, and a healthy goal.  That being said, I have to keep finding ways to make it FUN for me.  This week it came in the form of a well spent $2 at K-mart.  A HULA HOOP!  Man, I used to love my purple and white hula hoop as a child (although I was never very good at it).  And its summer - what says summer fun more than a good hula?  So I randomly stop what I'm doing throughout the day (study break, cleaning break) to hula for about 5 minutes.  I can do it while squatting, on one foot, rocking....all kinds of ways to work different muscle groups, burn a few calories and have a little fun.  I've also used it as my warm up (because I HATE the warmups on my Firm DVDs).  Check me out ya'll......

Fun with Hula Hoop from PhluffyPrincess on Vimeo.

What are some secrets you have for making working out fun? 

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Swim PAR-TAY!!!

Everyone knows that when adults throw a cookout/swim/pool party - its not actually about swimming.  It's about lookin cute in your bathing suit, dancin' to the music, and in my case a lil' flirting!!!!  I had one to attend yesterday and decided to pull out a 2-piece bathing suit, just to try on.  Not that I am anywhere near where I want to be, but I do see changes in my body....and I also see people with bodies a lot "worse" (meaning more % of body fat, higher BMI, weigh more, whatever you interpret that to mean) than mine rockin' 2-piece bathing suits with CONFIDENCE.  I figured....summer is half-way over, I wanna be cute and I have made some progress.  So, I whipped out one of my older swimsuits (in a size L) and tried it on.  To my surprise, it didn't look half bad!!!!

I threw my hair in a ponytail - then a fake ponytail on top of that (gotta add some sexy, right?!), picked out some accessories, sunglasses and sunscreen of course and went to that party strutting my stuff honey!!!  I've been swimming in my apartment complex a lot this summer so far and love the brown-bronzed tone of my arms, legs and back.....however after seeing that I can rock a 2-piece and not look half bad, I've decided that I will definitely be wearing this suit much more often and getting some sun on my stomach too!!!!  I look at these pictures and I'm encouraged to keep moving!!!! Summer's not over - I can do at LEAST another 10 lbs before the pool is closed for the year.  I will post another one sometime in September I think.....but ya'll let me tell ya, I haven't worn this swimsuit since 2007.  And even though I have more work to do, when I looked in the mirror - I FELT GOOOOOOOOD!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

A Hard Lesson Learned 17 years later!

I had a workout today with my trainer.  I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks, although I've been keeping up with my 30 Day Shred for the most part.  Over the weekend, I kept feeling a little nauseous and just not 100%.  Today I started my monthly cycle.  Hello cramps, thanks for visiting and reminding me I am female.  I am one of the lucky ones though because I only get "bad" cramps every few months or so.  Sometimes I have literally painless cycles.  Well JULY is one of those BAD months.  All day I felt ill, sore, crampy, and cranky.  Fast forward to this afternoon. The trainer had me on the stairstepper.  OH MY WORD, I felt like I was going to fall off the bottom at any given time.  My throat was dry yet my mouth was filled with icky saliva.  I felt like I needed to bend over to help alleviate my cramps, but of course then I would have fallen off the machine and injured myself.  After a 3 minute interval, it was onto squats and other fun exercises.  I was PITIFUL today.  I had heard that exercise can sometimes help cramps, but not in this case.  Whenever I have a "bad" month, I'm going to relax the first day or so of my cycle.  After 17 years of this ritual, I just learned something new about myself and my body.  I'm going to sit here with my heating pad, read blogs and watch bad tv for the rest of the evening.  No studying tonight!

Oh, how are you all enjoying this heat?!  Where I am its been in the very upper 90s/lower 100s.  Its helpful to make me drink more water! 

Friday, July 2, 2010

Point me please! Back to WW!

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have been contemplating returning to the Weight Watchers program for quite some time.  One because it works - not only in the sense that there are people who've done it with success, but I have also done it previously with tremendous success.  Two - because I'm not holding myself accountable any longer with the Fat Smash Diet.  I'm just kind've winging it, and I am consistently eating poorly.  Three - because I am ready to be able to EAT WHATEVER I WANT....just in moderation and with accountability!

Last night I went into my kitchen drawer and dug out all of my WW materials.  I have the pamplets for weeks 1-12, the Getting Started, Dining Out Companion, AND the Complete Food Companion.  Some are outdated as some restaurant's menus have changed and there are a ton of new products that have come out, but I also found THREE point finder sliders and my activity points tracker.  So I am all set.

As I looked through my materials, I got really sad and disgusted with myself.  I looked at my membership books with my weekly weigh ins....and noticed star after star and loss after loss.  I found my Lifetime Membership booklets - yes I am a Lifetime Member.  And I looked where I attempted to return after regaining 10 lbs (145 lbs) in March of 2007.  The 145 lb entry was the ONLY one in my new book!  I even got teary eyed thinking to myself "HOW DID I LET MYSELF RETURN TO THIS SIZE?!"  I've already lost over 10 lbs, why didn't I keep going when I was only 145?!  WHY WHY WHY?!  

I didn't dismiss those feeling, nor did I immediately tell myself to move on, or that its okay because I am losing now.  I allowed (almost forced) myself to feel it.  Absorb the shame, disappointment, disgust, frustration - all of that.  I want to remember how I feel and how difficult it has been to lose the weight a second time so that there will not be a third.  I'm not angry with myself, but just severely disappointed.  I can and will do better - this is another reminder that I will never return to this size and weight again.

So as I was experiencing all these emotions, I decided I am back to the point system.  I realize that some things have changed since the 5 years I have done the program.  But I will be doing it the way I was "taught."  I am allowed a measly 22 points per day plus 35 "flex" points per week to be used in any way I see fit.  Daily, I am to consume:  5 servings of fruits/veggies, 6 glasses of water minimally, 2 "healthy" fats, 2 daily servings.  AND I AM TO TRACK MY POINTS!  The most important part for me!

Also, I will be incorporating some things I've learned over the past few months from you guys!  I will be limiting salt and processed foods and continue to exercise regularly.  I will not be utilizing the "activity" points.  I don't like the idea of eating more because I've exercised.  I understand the theory behind it, but at this point, I am not in agreeance with it for me.  I also will be relying on my HEAD to guide me not just the points.  I have learned what leaner types of meat are, how to eliminate added fat to my cooking, and how much sodium I should consume daily.  

Today was my first day.
  • Breakfast:  Kroger Sugar Flakes (3 pts) and 1 c Cantaloupe (1 pt)
  • Lunch:  Subway 6" Ham & Cheese (10 pts), Light Chips (1 pt), Diet Dr. Pepper (0 pts)
  • Dinner:  Steamed Shrimp and Veggies with A1 Cajan Marinade (2 pts), Homemade Caesar Salad with Light Dressing, No croutons or cheese (2 pts)
  • Snacks:  Grapes (2 pts), Subway Chocolate Chip Cookie (4 pts)
Total:  24 points
2 Healthy Fats
5 Fruits/Veggies
6 cups of Water
2 Servings of Dairy
30 Day Shred

I learned from my first bout that going below by a couple of points is okay as long as I don't go below 20 points.  Sometimes I would go as low as 18 which is still okay, but not great.  However, as you can see, I had a fabulous first day ending up with 24 total points

I have a couple of BBQ's that I am going to this weekend.  I am making cucumber salad for both.  I hope there is enough "healthy" side dishes at each.  I'm so focused!

I am happy that I am eating well again.  I am happy that I am committed to a program again.  I am happy that I am losing weight - lol - okay...so that may be a little premature but I AM CLAIMING IT IN ADVANCE!  WOOT WOOT!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Thanks for the Love!!! Awards!

In case you guys haven't noticed....I am bad about receiving awards.  I am ALWAYS so freakin' tickled and touched when I receive one...but I didn't even learn how to add pictures to the sidebar of my blog until weeks after I received my first one!  So - if I don't follow the "rules" right away, please just give me a pass.  I am going to try to get better at it because I really do enjoy reading the "unknown" facts you all share in your posts.  Furthermore, I am always SO touched when you mention me in your blogs!

Now onto business...I received the "Beautiful Blogger" award from my girlie Pam at The Rest of the Journey a couple weeks ago.  Thanks so much Pam!  I was so super touched by what you said about me!  Okay for this award here are the instructions:  Tell you seven things about me that you might not know, and then pass it on to seven other bloggers.....

  1. I absolutely love eating sunflower seeds.  Not the shelled kind. The roasted and SALTY ones you shake in yout hand, suck on before cracking with your teeth and have to spit out the shell.  As you all know I am addicted to salt, but not only that - I find the activity of shake, suck, crack, spit, chew somewhat therapeutic.  I used to eat a large bag per day....people from my childhood and college years still ask if I eat sunflower seeds (I was known for carrying a cup or ziploc baggie for the discarded shells) which I do.  But only once in a while.  When I did WW a few years ago...it broke me of my daily habit.  Plus its unbecoming of a lady....as my mom told me every single day.
  2. I have always wanted to be on a game show.  I love watching them, participating at home and when the contestants lose I shout "I would've picked case number 4, Howie" or "John, I knew what the number one answer was....I would've WON fast money!"
  3. This weight loss journey + blogging world has inspired me to write a book.  As you know I will be a physician in TWO YEARS!  I've always been dedicated to preventive medicine and I like to hustle.  You know, do something besides your main form of employment to earn income.  So I've always said I wanted to be "Dr. Princess" and have a column in a mag where people can write and ask their medical questions.  And trust me, that dream WILL happen one day!  But...this journey has inspired me to incorporate spiritual, mental and physical health.  I've been taking personal notes along the way and already know a couple of people I plan to ask to be contributing authors.  Whenever I do it, which won't be for SOME YEARS yet....I will let you guys know and probably send all of my original followers a free copy - after all you were my inspiration!  *Sidebar....I can't wait to be done school*
  4. I love karaoke!  I can hold a note but I am definitely not a SANGER, but it doesn't stop me from getting up there, belting out New Attitude and kickin' off my shoes in true Patti LaBelle fashion!
  5. I do not keep my hair in the same style for longer than a week.  I do it myself as you know, and between swimming, working out and my personal style I get bored if it is styled the same for longer than that.  
  6. I have beauty addictions - nail polishes, makeup, hair accessories, skincare products.  You name it - I love it and have a full collection.
  7. I also have a magazine addiction - I read magazines as if I'm being paid.  Not one in particular....but ALL!  lol.  Fashion, Hair, Beauty, Combination, Health, Organization, Craft, Shopping, Cooking, Black, White, Latina & I've even purchased a few bridal ones just for fun!  I clip the articles of great interest and then throw the rest away every 3 months or so.  I love pouring over the fashion pages, getting new inspirations for outfits, hairstyles, makeup looks, recipes, workout ideas, etc. 

I also received a "Sugar Doll" award from Trina at MeSoHongry today.  Thanks girlie!  Trina's little known facts are so hilarious.  Hers specified to share 10 things about yourself that your readers may not know.  I will continue on the above list, even though it will start counting over...lol.
  1. I'm an extremely talkative and outgoing person.  In every school I've ever attended I won the Most Talkative Superlative.  I've accepted it and I love me anyway!  LOL. 
  2. I would love to have been born in an era where people "dressed" for dinner.  I love getting prettied up and girly for an occasion and hate that right now, I don't do anything regularly to get pretty for! 
  3. Medical school has aged me.  I haven't seen any of the Twilight saga and I had absolutely no clue it was about vampires and werewolves until 3 days ago.  I find myself listening to old-school R&B and hip hop, or gospel and when I get around my little cousins....I don't know half the songs they love.  Lastly....I only had one gray hair that has been there since my teens.  Now I have about 5!!! LOL.
That's 10!  I hope I didn't bore ya'll too much!  Now the more difficult part, because many of my followers have already received this PLUS you are all beautiful bloggers! However both awards state to pass it on to 7 and 10 people respectively.
  1. Lucy at Lucy's Blog
  2. Susan at Susan's Journey to Stay Fit
  3. Lee Lee at Crazy Riffs
  4. Karen at Fitness a Journey Not a Destination
  5. Corletta at Its a New Year:  No More Excuses!
  6. Julie at The Accidental Fat Chick
  7. Larkspur at Am I Really That Fat?
Okay so I only named 7 but...that's because I am new to giving blog awards!  Hopefully this post didn't bore you too much!