Weigh In (Week 13) & Beach Challenge Results

I CHANGED DECADES!  I wanted it SOOOOO badly for this week!  Starting May in the 150's...bye-bye 160's foreverrrrrrrr!  As for the Beach Challenge, I began at 163.4 and now I weigh 159.8 so I didn't lose the 10 anticipated pounds.  And that is OK...I still had a great month with a 3.6 lb weight loss.  And I really did give it my all - I kicked up my exercise and worked out almost everyday (except the few sick ones I had), I drank a TON of water, cut back on my sodium, found some new workouts, and stuck to my diet plan much more consistently.  So with that said...I can't be disappointed in myself!

One thing that pisses me off is I don't think my scale is 100% accurate.  I think its close, but if I get on it 10 times in a row...it will give me 10 different numbers.  I do think I weigh 159.8 because yesterday morning I weighed the same.  But...maybe I will start weighing myself at the gym in the same clothes each time....I haven't decided yet.  And maybe it isn't that big of a deal.  I mean the scale isn't WAY off - I just wish it were more consistent.

So now for this weeks reflections...I realized that my body does not lose weight easily.  I mean I worked out 14 of the last 16 days, drank nothing but water (at least 8 glasses every single day) and STILL didn't lose as much as a person who follows my plan would.  I finally recognized that I was having too many "cheat" meals & snacks mainly because I was combining the FSD with calorie counting - which for many MANY people would probably work, but not me!  I had to buckle down and stick to my plan much more closely than I had been doing - although I still had some cheat days.  Actually on Tuesday I had a double cheeseburger meal from McDonald's - my first fast food meal since 2009.  I planned on having Subway, but ended up not finishing my day until after 9 p.m. - all the Subways were closed and I was hungry enough to gnaw off my left hand.  I know that it is imperative that I do not allow myself to become that hungry, and for the most part I have prevented it from happening.  But even despite that meal - I had a great weight loss this week (for me).  So I am thinking that cutting back on salt may have been the reason for my big number.

For example, yesterday I grilled fresh chicken tenders on the George Foreman instead of having my usual Butterball processed chicken strips from the grocery store.  I seasoned them only with pepper, garlic & onion powder and left out the Seasoned Salt which would have been the first thing I added before.  They tasted so good and I stayed wayyyyyyyy under my sodium consumption for the day.  Instead of having Progresso's Lentil Soup (canned) I made my own.  Rather than having lunch meat I had a Morning Start Black Bean Burger - still a convenience item, but it had much less sodium.  It was difficult at first but I feel I am starting to find my stride with the salt reduction.  Thank God for MyDailyPlate.com though because I would not be tracking the sodium on my own!  LOL.

I loved reading your comments on yesterday's blog.  Clearly I was in "I'm going to take over the world" mode...but I meant every word!  Thanks!

May Goals & Progress Photos

May will be a great month for me.  I am hitting my stride with my eating habits and exercising.  I'm decreasing my salt intake everyday, drinking a lot of water and feeling more and more motivated as the temperature increases.  My birthday is in May....which represents a new beginning for me.  27 will be MY year.  Last year...it kicked off with my ex breaking up with me in the most unpleasant fashion.  Sounds horrible, right?  Well it was!  (although now the memory doesn't bring any negative emotions, thankfully it is just a memory).

During my 27th year of life I will reach and maintain my goal weight, exercise regularly, be an example for my friends and family, grow my hair long, eat healthy not by force but by habit, do amazingly well in school, grow spiritually and become closer to my God.   

27 is a year that I am claiming in expectation of all the great things to come.

Okay so now for my specific goals:

• Decrease my sodium consumption below 2300 mg at LEAST 5 days of the week.
• Exercise 400 minutes per week
• Complete 10 two-a-day workouts (approximately 2x per week)

Now for the comparison pictures.  After reading a post from Miss Corletta I decided to take monthly progress pictures (she will be taking them weekly).  These pics aren't quite a month apart, but I know next week I probably won't have a chance to take and upload any.  The ones on the left are from April 1st, those on the right are from this morning.  I am feeling really good about my progress - I haven't lost much weight but you can certainly see a difference, right?!

I am hoping that tomorrow's weigh in tells me I am in the 150s....that was the goal for the week!  *crosses fingers*

Sodium Cutback...I'm doing it!

Okay when I first realized how much sodium I consume, I was appalled.  I knew I had a salt problem, but seeing the actual numbers was jarring.  So I set out to cut back...and after a couple of weeks of trying to cutback...I finally accepted that it isn't just added salt & seasoning that I use in my cooking - its the actual ingredients themselves.  I rely heavily on canned, frozen and processed items to make cooking quick and easy.  So it didn't matter that I was more aware of added salt because my sodium consumption was still through the roof!

In this month's issue of Shape magazine (with Ellen D. on the cover) there was an article that talked about the dangers of consuming too much salt.  Among them are increased blood pressure and increased LDL.  Also I am at risk for renal failure due to a strong family history of polycystic kidney disease - which is another reason I really want to cut back on salt.  The Shape article suggests staying below 2,000 mg of sodium per day*.  Today my total was 2056 mg!  Not as low as I would like it to be, but I am progressing.  I wonder if it will make a difference in this week's weigh in.

My day:

• Bfast:  Hard boiled egg, yogurt & water
• Morning snack:  Apple
• Lunch:  Casear salad (homemade with LF dressing and no croutons)
• Dinner:  Large Black Bean Soup (from Panera)
• After dinner snack:  Sugar-free Jell-O cup
• All I've had to drink today is water.
• 50 minutes of cardio

Now...I know the calories are really LOW.  But I am full and as you know from my last post I am truly trying to stick by the FSD.  So we will see how I do this week.

*Correction:  The article says "Experts recommend limiting sodium to 2,300 mg and saturated fat to roughly 18 grams per day."  I went back to check after Tammy's comment.  Thanks!

Birthday Countdown

My birthday is at the end of May - 5/21 to be exact.  My mom, 2 aunts and cousin will be visiting me.  I really want plan to be 153 by that point....a 20 lb weight loss total!  I am going to go very VERY hard for the next 4 weeks.  My goal is to lose 2-2.5 lbs per week.  Another HUGE goal - but I've learned from doing the Beach Challenge that it IS possible, I just have to be disciplined and diligent.

Starting today (Saturday) I have been timing my meals, eating every 3 hours without fail.  After re-reading a couple of chapters of the FSD thoroughly yet again, I realized I was missing a major principle that Dr. Ian thought was key to the success of his program.  Eating on a regular schedule.  As I said in a previous post, I plan to stick to the diet to the letter "T" no deviation, no improvisation.  I will continue to write down what I am eating (Dr. Ian actually suggests keeping a food journal) just to ensure that I am doing all the right things.  As much as I don't want to admit it, I realize that maybe I haven't been as "good" as I think I have.  Okay...no maybe about it, I haven't!  lol.  I haven't been terrible, but I have some extras here and there.  Just being real.

Okay - so again, I am going back to Phase I to jump start me off.  I realize that when I am following Dr. Ian's plan (I even looked at the Extreme Fat Smash Diet to compare) I don't always hit my recommended calories, depending on the phase that I am in.  However, I am not going to change or deviate - I am going to stick to his plan.  I know it works, there are thousands of testaments to support it, I know its healthy, and I know I can do it.  So...yes I am still tracking but I am not going to try to combine 2 different plans.  This time when I re-enter phase III, I will be sure to re-introduce pasta (whole wheat of course!) and rice into my diet.  I've been cutting them out, because of the Atkins and South Beach rage a few years ago, its ingrained in me that they are the devil!  LOL.  I haven't had pasta at all in 2010.

By Memorial Day, I'd love to be in the 140s....but I won't push my luck!  LOL.    

Weigh In (Week 13) - Great week!

DOWN 1.8 LBS = 161.6 lbs.
I had a pretty good week!  After my 1 lb gain last week I really kicked it into high gear.  The words from my trainer helped and also (as mad as he made me!) and DEFINITELY my new smaller measurements were encouragement to continue going!  So this week, I re-read a couple of chapters in the FSD book and tried to re-direct my eating.  And as for the scale, I am ecstatic!  This is the most amount of weight I've lost in a week and the 150's are sooooo close!  I am going to be there next week, before May, I can feel it and I am claiming it!

Okay, so I have no chance at meeting the Beach Challenge goal...but hey, I did get a personal record out of it.  1.8 lbs is a HUGE number for me!

Hits:

• Drank at minimum 2L (64 oz) of water per day, usually more
• Exercised everyday this week, longer than 30 minutes each day!
• Starting to enjoy exercising....finding myself making it a priority, finally.  YAY!!!!

 Misses:

• Didn't eat as many fruits & veggies as normal...need to get back to 6 servings per day
• Cannot control overeating on sweets.  Whenever I bring in a snack item (pecan rolls, brownie bites) I can't seem to stop at one serving.  So I have to go back to not having it at all until I can control myself.  Really sounds pathetic, but I'm just being real.
• Still have to cut back on salt even more, but I am definitely more conscious of it.  I'll get there...

Here's what I did this week:
Sunday:  Walk/Jump rope interval outside
Monday:  Personal Training Session
Tuesday:  500 jumping jacks + 500 Jump rope
Wednesday:  PT session + 500 Jump rope
Thursday:  Zumba class (1 hr) + ab work + elliptical 20 minutes
Friday:  Zumba class later...not sure of what else

Jumping Rope...for kids and for ME!

When I was little, all you had to do was walk for a couple of blocks and you would come across a group of girls jumping Double Dutch.  And if you couldn't jump - well you know you were a TURNER!  Am I right?  I mean we had songs and games that we played IN the rope.  And not only did we jump until we messed up, but we took 3 turns each!  Not a family gathering or BBQ went by without somebody bringing a rope, either!  Ok...so it was a clothes line, but hey that was the best kind, right?!  Nowadays, I can drive for miles and not see a single rope outside...and we wonder why our kids are overweight? 

I remember we had a BBQ at my Uncle's house and I brought a rope for my little cousins to jump with (they were around 7 or 8 at the time) and NOBODY knew how to jump OR turn for double dutch and one of them didn't even know how to do single jump rope.  I was appalled!  Now I realize DD may be cultural - not everyone grows up doing it, but SINGLE jump rope?!  Then I started thinking about it and none of the cousins younger than me know how to jump DD - not a single one.  Not surprisingly, most are struggling with weight issues now (from age 12 - 20).  Now it isn't all about jumping rope, it is about the lack of outside activity period...but still, it does make you think right?

Anyways, I have been incorporating jumping rope into my workouts.  Walking at the park and stopping for 100 jump intervals - increases the calorie burn from just a regular walk.  I have jumped 500 jumps straight (with water breaks), 100x100 jumping jacks and rope jumps alternating until a total of 500 each were reached.  I really have been enjoying it, I feel its a great way to build endurance and OH BOY my calves have been singing.  I am trying to go 30 days straight jumping rope in some form. 

I don't remember it being this hard 20 years ago...lol.  I wish I had some DD partners now, I find that such a fun activity!

Amazing Non-Scale Victories!

Yesterday, my trainer took my updated measurements.  I don't keep the paper so I can't tell you the exact numbers but one that sticks out in my mind is that I went from a 36" waist to a 34" waist!  That is a 2 inch loss in 6 weeks....I'm very pleased.  Other notables were 1.5" from my arms, 3" lost from my hips,1.5" lost per thigh, 2" from my bust.  I lost 1% of body fat also - I am now at 32% (this is the only number I am genuinely confused about....I feel I've gained a LOT of muscle).

I felt I looked smaller...but with the struggles on the scale I've been having, I couldn't be sure if it was reality or wishful thinking.  My stomach does look pretty freakin great, and my thighs are definitely more toned!  Inches lost...I will definitely take that as a victory.

My overall goal is for my waist to be 30" waist...the other measurements I am unconcerned about for now.

It does feel good to have some amazing numbers lost somewhere, even if its not on the scale.  My trainer said something big to me when I was complaining about the small amount of body fat lost.  He said "You need to stick to your diet."  I was irritated and said "I DO!!!!!!!!!! THAT AIN'T IT, TRUST ME!"  Sidenote: My trainer and I are the same age and have a great relationship, so I had no problems telling him like it T-I-S (said Bernie Mac style, R.I.P).  He said "No, I'm not saying you aren't watching what you're eating.  I'm saying that you change stuff up too much.  You don't see pounds lost, immediate results then you are steady trying to figure out what to change and adjusting stuff.  Whatever diet you are doing, just stick to it and be patient - stop changing things every few weeks."  That was a real epiphany moment.  Because I am CONSTANTLY re-evaluating, adjusting, thinking of ways to help me lose MORE, etc.  So I decided to relax, stick to my most recent change which is a combination of The Fat Smash diet + calorie counting.  I will continue to set mini-goals for myself, but I will stick to this with NO changes for 1 month straight, no matter what the scale does.  He also told me I need to workout harder...for this comment he earned the middle finger gem....I was pissed!  How dare he tell me I'm not working out hard?!  Then...I thought about what he was saying.  Do I push myself, really PUSH myself during my workouts, or do I just do them?  Again, I had to admit he was right.  I sometimes walk at the park, which is great, but I could run.  I do an exercise DVD I take mini-breaks when I feel I "can't" go anymore, when I'm with the trainer I have a solid workout for every 3 times we meet.  So I've decided that I've got to really make my workouts count.  Yesterday when I was with the trainer I sweat to the point it dripped onto the ground...THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN BOUT!  I never do that on my own!  Yes, I workout all the time but I have to really concentrate on doing more than I think I am capable of to see the results I want.  So....I ended up sending him a text msg later admitting he was right...I need to push harder.  Dangit, I hate admitting when I'm wrong!

In any event, I am getting it done - slowly but surely and I'm satisfied.  However, I need to work to the point that I am proud of myself, and that will happen when I work as hard as I possibly can and then I will feel okay about miniature losses on the scale.  When you know I've put my all into it I will be happy regardless of anything else.

Personal Challenge & Family Successes

This week I am challenging myself to consume 64 oz of water per day.  My "normal" previous goal (which I've met) was to consume at least 32 oz, but ideally 48 oz.  I drank 64 oz yesterday and felt much less dehydrated than I normally do, even with the 32 or 48 oz.  Plus I am really  noticing my skin clearing up!  YAY!

About my family - as I've noted in the "about me" section, we have a fat gene.  To be honest....I don't know if we are genetically predisposed to being overweight or if we just have a family legacy of the women being overweight, but in any event, my family (particularly the women) struggle with weight issues.  However, within the last 6-8 months, we have had so much success as a FAMILY with weight loss!!!

• Cousin #1 - male, 26 years old. thin during childhood and early adulthood, began gaining weight after college, marriage and 3 kids.  Lost approximately 30 lbs to get into shape.  Motivation:  admission into the armed forces.  Method:  drinking more water, working out 5x per week, and simply "watching what he eats"
• Cousin #2 - female, 32 years old.  3 children.  Thin until pregnancies...gained at least 100 lbs after all 3 kids.  Going through an very painful divorce...depression jumpstarted weight loss.  However, she then began working out and watching what she ate.  Weight lost:  unknown, but she is looking really good!
• Uncle R:  overweight as a child & adult.  Recent health problems:  COPD (severe) & rheumatoid arthritis.  Began the Fat Smash Diet with me.  Is doing extremely well despite being unable to exercise (recommendation of his doctor was to ONLY walk and very low intensity due to blood clot complications...however his arthritis prevents him from being able to do so).  He has never been able to successfully lose a significant amount of weight.  Weight lost:  about 15-20 lbs.
• Cousin #3 - female 36, single, no kids.  Struggled with weight problems since childhood.  Got progressively worse as an adult.  Has had coronary blockage, referred chest pain (similar to what happens during a heart attack) and was scheduled for gastric bypass/banding surgery.  We spoke - she was going to try to lose it on her own.  She has lost 25 lbs and decided to cancel the surgery!!!!!  Working out regularly, watching what she eats, being patient...
• Brother:  31 years old, single, no kids.  Never really had a weight problem, maybe just a few extra pounds to lose at certain points in life.  VERY skinny as a child/teen.  Went through a bad breakup, depressed and lost 7 lbs without trying.  Decided to keep going...has lost 1 lbs total which was his goal.  Methods:  cut out all "extra" sugar from his diet, stopped eating out, drank nothing but water.
• Father:  thin as a teen/young adult.  Gained weight after having kids and kept going.  Chronical yo-yo dieter.  Decided to do exactly what my brother did.  Has lost a little weight so far.  I actually doubt that he even plans to keep it off...but he's happy with being able to lose it.
• Grandmother:  79, lives with Uncle, so she's been losing by default!  LOL.  She's lost 7 lbs so far!  She also works the front desk at our local community fitness center/gym so she rides the recumbent bike a few times per week.  Sidenote:  my granny is a huge source of inspiration for me.  She still WORKS, DRIVES, and lives on her own!  (my uncle is staying with her, not the other way around)
• I have a few more, but you get the picture.  We are also doing a family weight challenge (which I initiated) from Feb 1st to June 1st.  We teamed up and reported our combined weights.  The team that loses a) the most amount of pounds and b) the highest percentage of weight loss will win prize money.  My uncle and I are on a team together....I have high hopes we will win! 

I am so ecstatic about all of this.  There are a few people that haven't jumped on the bandwagon, but I am SO HAPPY that we are changing our family legacy!!!  I think we should be featured on Oprah!  LOL.

So...yesterday I did indeed go for a walk in the park and I took my jump rope with me.  Walked for a bit, did 75 jumps.  By the 2nd lap around the park, I was up to 100 jumps per break.  And I felt so extremely accomplished.  I will do the same today...already changed out of my church clothes.  Let me just say that I am loving the fact that I am actually enjoying my workouts!!!

Weigh In (Week 12), Beach Challenge, AND Zumba!!!!

Ok - My first official gain!  SMH.  163.4 (up 0.8 lbs).  But no worries, I am back on track.  The scale kicked me in the rear to get my life together!  lol.  After being sick and slacking on exercise for a week, I also wasn't cooking.  I got super busy and with being under the weather just didn't feel like putting the energy into meal-planning and cooking.  So all of that contributed to my gain, I'm sure.  I'm most likely not going to get 10 lbs in 2 weeks, so the Beach Challenge will be a "technical" fail, but it doesn't matter, I will still work hard for the remaining 2 weeks for a respectable number!  lol.

I have been back to my daily exercising.  Yesterday I went to my first Zumba class (I know, I know, I'm late) and I am hooked!  I absolutely loved it!  Got up this morning for another class!  And surprisingly I sweat and felt like I got a great workout.  Plus, instead of my normal 30 minute shot, I worked out for an hour.  Several community centers around my city offer fitness classes, some free others cost a whopping TWO DOLLARS!!!!  That's what I'm talkin' bout!!!!  So - I have renewed enthusiasm about working out!  Next week I will be doing water aerobics, belly dancing and zumba. Watch out now!  I've been back on my game with my food plan also.

Pam (from The Rest of the Journey) posts regularly about her visits to the Farmer's Market, which inspired me to seek out my local market.  I got a bunch of goodies at less than grocery store prices so I was very happy about that.  Thanks Pam!

It is such a beautiful day, I think I will go for a walk in the park...that'll be 2 workouts today!  YAY!  :-)

You wouldn't believe what I went through...

Just to find a fitness class today!!!!  Okay you guys may remember a while back I posted that I wasn't learning to love exercise like some of you have?  It's still true...I am still plugging along but I realized that group fitness classes and intramural sports may be the best thing for me to be involved in long-term.  I enjoy those activities more than just getting on the treadmill, walking at the park, riding my elliptical or doing a DVD.  Some people use the solitude of those types of work outs to think, plan, meditate, contemplate, push themselves, etc.  I do those things during other activities so honestly I don't LOVE solo workouts!  I do enjoy them from time-to-time, but I'm looking at the long term big picture.  I want to make sure that I find things that I will continue to do....FOREVER.

So...the tennis camp that I was so excited about?  Um, it was in a different state.  Same city name, different state.  LOL.  After that fail - I went online to find a local gym that had workout classes.  See, my gym only costs $15/month and the personal training sessions are the cheapest around - BUT no group classes at all.  So I found one, signed up for a free 7 day pass and today got dressed, wrapped my hair in my gym scarf (a pretty presentable satin scarf unlike my bedtime one!) and hit the door.  I get to the gym location only to discover it had gone out of business...UM...I received a confirmation email about my 7 day pass and everything!  Why the website is still up and running, I have no idea... *sigh*  So now, I'm like now what?  I do NOT feel like going to the gym to do a solo workout...my mind was all set to do a class!!!!  I ended up stopping by each and every gym near my home to see if they had fitness classes that you could pay PER CLASS.  I did not find any through those methods, BUT one gym would allow me to take one class for free.  So, today I enjoyed "BodyPump" at a local gym - a very high intensity weight training class that is an entire body workout.  Its a nationally taught program and I'd highly recommend it.  I much prefer those types of weight training sessions rather than using the machines.  I have no idea why...I guess because I do different muscle groups back-to-back with little rest in between I feel I am burning more calories.  Hence the reason I enjoy the personal training sessions so much.

When I got home, I immediately hopped online and found a local community center that has a bunch of fitness classes that I can take for only $3 per class, PLUS adult tennis intramurals! Tomorrow I will be taking a class and investigating the tennis.  So I am hoping that I will burn a bunch of calories tomorrow plus discover a way to get back into a hobby that I love.  Cross your fingers for me!

Tomorrow I will update you on how badly being sick threw me off...smh, I'll be surprised if I haven't gained!  lol.

Changing up my Plan

I enjoy The Fat Smash Diet and I will continue to utilize most of it.  However, I don't think *NOT* counting or measuring is the best method for me to actually lose the weight...however I do think it is a great diet to help me maintain my goal weight.  I plan to not abandon the FSD completely but to count calories as I do it.  I realize that when I am following the diet alone, I am either undereating or overeating!  And I think that is why  I am struggling with consistently losing the amount I think I am capable of.  For those who are unfamiliar, the FSD is specifically a non-counting plan, but that isn't working for me totally so I plan to count calories and eat from the "allowed" list of the FSD (I'm in Phase III currently). A few weeks ago, when I hit a plateau, tracking via LiveStrong.com helped me lose a good number the following week.  You'd think that would motivate me to continue to do so, but no I didn't.  I also went back to Phase I of the FSD as well though, which I don't want to have to do every other month.  I don't think its necessary either.  So - from here on in, it will be the FSD plus calorie counting.  And once I really get the hang of staying within my range of 1150-1300 calories I should be near my goal weight and I'll be able to just do the FSD and work on maintaining my weight.  I am excited to reach my goal weight, but you know what excites me even more?  Maintaining it, living the life of a healthy, active and fit women for the rest of my life.  I am not even kidding.  I am more excited about life 10 years from now than I am about wearing "skinny" clothes this summer.  This is definitely a different attitude than from WW 5 years ago.  At that time, I was more excited just to be thin, to have lost the weight, to be and feel cute.  Of course I was happy to be eating healthy, but it was a very distant motivator.  I realize that I have finally "gotten it." It being the thing that reassures you that you will be living a healthy lifestyle forEVER.  Now I just have to work on tweaking how to actually lose the weight!  So I hope to see a really good number on Friday since I will be working double time for the Beach Challenge!

Weekend Successes!!!

I have a few things to be proud of regarding my food choices this weekend.  I went out with a friend to Olive Garden (his suggestion) yesterday for dinner.  In preparation, I ate a late lunch so that I wouldn't be starving and looked up their menu and nutrition information ahead of time.  I settled on the Minestrone soup and the garden salad without any croutons.  I got to dinner and stuck to the plan!  Normally I have a very hard time resisting the breadsticks, but I wasn't even tempted!  I had no problem admitting to him I was on a diet when he looked puzzled as to why I wasn't enjoying the bread with him.  He actually asked about my diet, how it worked and details about what foods I could eat, etc.  I was so proud and excited because these choices ARE becoming a lifestyle change.  I seriously was not tempted by the heavily sauced, carbohydrate filled dishes on the menu, nor the warm garlic bread on the table!  I decided on what I was going to have, stuck to the plan, and I loved my soup!!!!

Also, I went shopping on Saturday.  I really don't need anything, but it was such a gorgeous day and I didn't want to stay inside!  I bought a couple of tunic tops and 2 miniskirts.  Now, my idea of a mini-skirt aren't those teeny hankerchiefs being sold in the junior stores...you know the kind you hold up and ponder "Who on Earth would wear this?!" and kids with responsible moms wear colored tights beneath them...you've seen those, right?  Well, not those!  Mini as in above the knee but still decent.  LOL.  I bought one from the junior department in Macy's and one in a size 10 from NY & Co!!!!  Two big deals!  I haven't been able to buy bottoms from the juniors in forever and before beginning my diet....size 14 skirts were a little snug in NY&Co.  In addition, I bought some accessorizes to "spring up" my wardrobe and all of the items were great buys.  I actually will take a pic of my buys and post for you to see my awesome deals.  I shoulda thought of that before posting this time.  :-) 

I'm not going to be weighing in until Friday for the Beach Challenge - gives me time to do some damage control from my non-active week due to my sickness.  I think it will be a good one!

Torso Exposed

Okay - at this point I cannot even remember who started this blog trend, but it is amazing!  I knew as soon as I read the first one (Arms Exposed) that I would participate and reading everyone else's has been inspiring as well.  My arms are my #1 trouble zone, meaning that even at my goal weight I feel my arms are slightly disproportionate, however I can always deal with larger arms.  Never have had a problem showing them.  Now...my biggest insecurity is my stomach/torso area.  My back has fat rolls now (Yuck!) and my stomach pokes out entirely too far.  In fact I had to take these photos several times because I suck my tummy in unconsciously and it took me a while to really let it all hang out for a "real" photo!  My goal is to wear a 2 piece bathing suit this summer with confidence and feel and look good.  Whelp here goes...my fat filled, stretch marks on the side, back fat torso!  163 lbs...

Sick...

 How on Earth did I catch a cold when the weather has been at least 75 degrees or above?!  Um, from my Daddy!  Him visiting was awesome, but he could've definitely kept this!  I felt so awful today, just stuffy and bad enough for it to bring me down.  I haven't worked out yet.  But I just changed my clothes.  I am going to do a DVD or On Demand ExerciseTV video...haven't decided yet.  My workout yesterday was lackluster as well...I need to get better and get better QUICK!  I definitely do not want any setbacks!

Uggggghhhhhhh - this is exactly why I should be taking my multivitamin everyday!

Weigh-In (Week 11) & Challenge Updates

162.6 lbs, down 0.8 lbs from last week, 10.8 lbs lost total.  I'm still having trouble accepting how slowly my body is losing the weight, but I am no longer disappointed with small losses.  Slow and steady (as you guys have told me via comments!!!).  I'm proud that I've not gained any weeks so far and that is a victory for me in 11 weeks!

I was a part of Trina's Cute as a Bunny Challenge.  The goal was to lose 7 lbs in 7 weeks.  I began the challenge at 167 lbs and since I weigh on Wednesdays today is the final weigh in for me.  Altogether I lost 4.8 lbs.  I had some weeks where I didn't lose an entire pound and others that I stayed the same.  However, although I didn't get the 7 pounds, I am happy with my performance in my first ever challenge!!!

Which brings me to my next point - Tammy's Beach Challenge!  Read the post I did on it if you missed it!  I'm going to switch my weigh in days to Friday for the rest of the month for the purposes of the challenge.  The goal is to lose 10 lbs in 1 month.  I will be a grinning, skipping, giggling fool if I achieve that!!!  Since the start of the challenge, I've been exercising daily to help meet that goal and I plan to exercise 2x/day three times per week.

• Thursday (April 1) = only 20 minutes on the elliptical (hadn't seen the challenge yet)
• Friday = 30 day Shred with Jillian Michaels
• Saturday = 45 minutes at the gym on treadmill (intervals, walking, jogging, running)
• Sunday = 45 minute walk at the park
• Monday = personal training session at 5 p.m.
• Tuesday = didn't have time to workout but cleaned my apt, took all the trash down to the compactor on foot, not by car as usual.
• Wednesday = have a P.T. session at 5, will do 30 shred in a few minutes...

I've been drinking pretty much nothing but water, so that is one thing that I struggled with in the beginning that I really have made leaps and bounds of improvement in.  I just wanna see that scale move just a bit faster, but so long as I don't gain, I'm happy!

Thank you ALL so much for your comments on my last ranting post.  Some were so touching, they brought tears to my eyes.  It was such a moment for me, realizing that you not only sympathized but empathized with me.  Thank you very much.

Here are some pic's of what I've been eating lately.

Homemade Spicy Seafood Soup & Side Casear Salad (note only 5 croutons!)

Right now....I really dislike my father.

 Warning:  long, rantful post.  And I have an awesome, amazing dad...just right now, I want to say something that hurts his spirit the way he's hurt mine.

Growing up I was around 125 lbs at 10 years old.  Not fat at all.  Heavier than some kids, but smaller than others.  I played sports year round.  However, I've always had a heavy "build."  When I was 10 I got my first period and my "woman" shape began to form.  My dad noticed that I had very thick calves and from that point on, made it his duty to forewarn me about my pending weight troubles.  His concern was that I'd become like his mother, aunts and sisters - extremely obese.  I stayed thin throughout high school as I continued to play sports.  I wore a size 7 in juniors throughout high school, I remember buying 27" waist jeans, my prom dresses were all sample sizes (my uncle is a designer, most were a 6, some size 4s).  And I won homecoming queen, despite a face full of acne.  Yet he continued to tell me that I'd "better watch it...when you stop playing sports you are going to have a weight problem."  Deep down, I knew he was trying to prevent me from being overweight.  In his words, I was trying to "save me from having problems."  When I got to college, his prediction came to fruition...I graduated in 3 years and over all 3 years gained 25-30 pounds.  I was about 160-165 when I graduated from college.  The following year I went through a depression as I received rejection letter after rejection letter from all the medical schools I applied to.  I gained another 10 lbs topping out at 172.  In January 2005 I joined Weight Watchers with my mom and lost the weight.  I distinctly remember my mom and I saying...let's not say a word to Daddy.  We'll just SHOW HIM!  He constantly had something to say about our weight.  He had some weight to lose himself, probably about the same amount that we did to be honest but appointed himself guardian of our weight for whatever reason.  Well, I lost the weight and then got into a graduate program.  When I came back home for spring break the following year I was about 145 (my goal weight was 135 so I had gained 10 lbs in about 9 months) as soon as I walked through the door my father said...."OH MY GOD, YOU ARE OBESE!"  This pissed me off to the highest degree of pisstivity.  I actually was starved from traveling all day and had expressed that to my mom the entire ride home from the airport.  After hearing that comment from my dad - I passed on dinner and went upstairs to my room to call my then-boyfriend about it.  I was so upset.  No "how is school?" or "I'm proud of you" until he had gotten the weight comment out first.  And my stomach was growling and I was going to NOT eat because of what he said.  My ex-bf basically said, stop acting anorexic and go eat.  I realized I was taking it to the extreme.  Never one to hold my tongue, I went to my dad, mom and brother and expressed how them constantly commenting from the time I was in the 4th grade until then had hurt and the "obese" comment was over the top.  Besides which I informed all of them, I weigh 145.  Only 4 lbs above the "healthy" weight range for my height and FAR FAR away from being obese.  My dad was like, "well, maybe by your standards...."  Mind you, I was in a medical graduate program in preparation to get into med school.  I think I just may know a thing or two....

During this conversation...everyone treated me like a hysterical, overly sensitive female who was irrational too emotional to express a civil thought.  Which infuriated me!  How could they not see how damaging they were being?!  The fact that I was driven to want to go to bed hungry, or crash diet because I was going to see my father - that wasn't enough?!  That doesn't speak volumes?!  Everyone tried to pacify me once I began sobbing and saying "sorry you were hurt by that."  It upset me even more because my dad specifically didn't understand WHY I was hurt, wasn't sorry for what he said, and still thought I was being over-sensitive.  He has even said on several occasions that I need to toughen up.

Ya'll....I am not an irrational woman.  In fact the men I date often comment how they almost enjoy disagreements with me because I can be rational in spite of being upset.  But I saw that despite my best efforts that night was not going to be the one to get him to understand my hurt.  So I let it go.  After beginning this, my final weight LOSS journey of all times, I identified more of what I was hurt about.  My dad is here visiting so I thought it a good time to bring it up.  I explained to him that he had always warned me about my pending fatness, but never EVER did anything to educate me on how to prevent it.  He never led by example.  I KNEW that once I stopped playing sports I would most likely gain weight....however....I was not in the habit of working out at the gym.  Never in my life have I known my dad to go to a gym; Once he did run outside for about 2 months consistently - but it was during his lunch hour...I never witnessed it.  So I explained that had I gotten into the habit of healthy eating, understanding what foods weren't good for maintaining a healthy weight and why, and saw parents as examples of exercising regularly - maybe I wouldn't have had the struggles I have had.  I proudly told him, this was the last and final time I am losing weight.  Seriously, this is forever.  I will be working out forever.  I will be eating fruits and veggies, lean protein, limiting on takeout and fast food for the rest of my ENTIRE life and I'm going to teach any children I may have to do the same..  He said...."I hope so...but the percentage of people who do that are slim to none.  Its practically impossible."  WHAT?!   Why can't you just say, "I'm glad you've finally figured it out" or "That's great - that's what I've wanted for you all along."  or how about the best one yet "I wish I had been able to do that for you."?!?!  Nope...my dad is the classic yo-yo dieter - and feels that is a good way of life.  10 lbs gone, 10 lbs gained.  Repeat.  Now repeat times 10-20 years.  Sometimes 20 lbs gained.  Sometimes 15 lost.

The conversation took a turn for the worst.  The edge in my voice lost its careful "I'm talking to my daddy" reverence.  I all but had to prevent my neck from snapping back and forth at him.  Three hours into the conversation and he finally admitted he said I was obese knowing it would be hurtful, but hoping it would motivate me.  I told him hurting me on purpose, no matter how well-intentioned was NEVER acceptable.  And if he thought I was going to let him get away with it again, think again.  *Then I got scared he may slap me!*  But this was after a bunch of back and forth about how the ends justifies the means and how he will continue to speak up on things in my life if he feels he needs to - in other words he'll take the same approach again about whatever he needs to in the future.  He kept saying "I'm sorry you were hurt....BUT"  or "I'm sorry you are so sensitive about this"  Which would infuriate me even further and I'd tell him not to apologize if it wasn't sincere and he wasn't apologizing for the right reasons.  We ended up agreeing to disagree because he wasn't going to see it my way, and I know I wasn't seeing it his way.  He even asked why we are still having the same conversation after so long - I told him because he's never admitted his responsibility in 1) hurting my feelings 2) not giving me the proper tools and education to truly prevent me from gaining weight as an adult and 3) for not recognizing the problem when I brought them to him in a direct manner.

I know some of you have issues with your hubby or bf - mine is my dad.  I swear I wanna reach my goal weight tomorrow, fast forward 15 years and show him not only have I maintained, but I've taught my kids how to eat healthy and live an active lifestyle.  Especially since he doubts that I will do anything close to it.  Saying in a snide way "I hope you do" makes me wish he wasn't my dad so I could slap the taste outta his mouth.  But he is...so I blogged instead.

Go 'head Jennifer Hudson!

I thought Jennifer Hudson looked great pre-baby, sure bigger than most Oscar winners and top recording artists, but great nevertheless.  But she has recently slimmed down a LOT more with the help of Weight Watchers.  She's their new celebrity spokesperson! 

Check out the article here.  Although now she can afford to have a personal trainer work with her everyday - Hudson is no stranger to losing weight on her own, the non-celeb way!  The season she was on American Idol, I was a faithful watcher and voter.  In fact when she was booted off, I vowed to boycott all future seasons, that's how upset I was!  How all 3 of the black women on the show, who had rave reviews the night before ended up in the bottom 3 I still don't understand....but I digress!  But I remember on the show, she had already shed 60 pounds with the use of martial arts and tae-bo.  She still was thicker than most, but she looked great and I admired her discipline to lose the weight.  In the article it states Hudson lost between 0.5-2 lbs per week - Hallelujah I feel vindicated from my tiny losses!  LOL.  In addition to Weight Watchers, the article states that she has sessions with a personal trainer nearly every day.  If someone who trains with a PT every single day and is following a weight loss regimen such as Weight Watchers is losing what I am losing, I feel great about that!  :-)  Way to go Jenn!

You can view her commercial at the Weight Watchers site!

Beach Challenge - I'm IN!

I'm always up for joining a new challenge if I know it is one to which I can commit.  Tammy at From Fat to Fab is hosting a Beach Challenge.  From my knowledge the basic rules are to commit to losing 10 lbs by April 30, in anyway you choose to achieve it.  Now, given my track record of loss, this is a VERY ambitious goal for me!  Maybe not even practical by some people's standards...but I am going to give it everything I have.  I weigh 163 right now, and just the idea that by May I could be 153 seriously encourages me.  My birthday is at the end of May and if I could be in the 140's by then (also my mom, and a couple of aunts and cousins are coming to visit) I would be absolutely ecstatic.  I think it is possible!  I really do, down in my spirit.  I've inspired others to start the Fat Smash diet and in 2 weeks they've lost about 7 lbs.  It doesn't make me upset, it motivates me.  Its nice to know others on the same plan and to know they are having such great success makes be believe it is possible for me to get 10 lbs in 30 days!

My plan of attack - continue to exercise 5 days per week.  3 of those days, do 2 workouts, morning and evening.  I have the time for this (single, no kids - all I have is my books!!!) if I make the time.  I have finally been drinking water consistently - I plan to continue to have at least 32 oz of water per day.  1 bottle per workout is 16 oz...1 with dinner and another throughout the day would give me 48 oz, I should be able to hit that.  And I'm going back to journalling on LiveStrong.com my food.

I also did Trina's "Cute as a Bunny" challenge for Easter.  I will be posting the results of that on Wednesday (my official weigh in day).

I did Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred this morning...this evening I may do it again or I will hop on my elliptical.  For breakfast I had egg scramble (with low fat cheese) and a half Flat Out Italian bread.  Already had 16 oz of water and dinner is made - veggie stir fry with beef.  :-)

The scale is my friend!

This is in response to a comment on yesterday's weigh in asking how I feel about the scale.  The person had several great points, and even said that her friend who doesn't weigh in is having greater success.  Also, there are many of us that have to walk away from the scale for a while because we become too driven by its display each week.  I thought long and hard after reading that comment...and the conclusion?  The scale is definitely my friend!  Hell, I'm on my way to falling in love with it! 

I only lost 0.6 lbs this week.  It didn't send me into a depression or make me not want to eat or even over-analyze my process.  I just thought about what I did well and what needed improvement.  I am still early in my weight loss journey (10 weeks) and adjustments will need to be made and that is exactly what the scale tells me.  I also can get over confident with a good week (as happened between this week & last week) and fall off track a bit.  The scale's feedback is essential for me.  I need to know that what I am doing is working and if i need to change anything.  Once I hit my stride, I will still continue to weigh myself weekly.  In fact Diane at Fit to the Finish even posted about daily weighers versus weekly weighers.  I don't think getting on the scale indicates that you are obsessive.  In fact I believe just the opposite.  Being able to get on the scale and digest what it says - not internalize it, agonize over it, or dissect it - means that I have power over my scale.  I am comfortable admitting where I am, what I weigh and measuring where I need to be.  Before the New Year, I began not weighing myself.  I was just too scared of what it would say.  I ended up gaining weight and being much more depressed about what my mind "imagined" I weighed then when I was actually getting on it regularly.  I don't like being 163, but I like knowing.  For me, making myself NOT step on the scale gives it way more power...

So to answer the question "How do I feel about the scale?" - I feel great!  I may not like the number it gives me, but I love the guidance it provides.  Its not so deep for me that I need to avoid it like the plague. I recognize all the non-scale victories I've been having as well, so its all love between me and my scale!