Last night I went into my kitchen drawer and dug out all of my WW materials. I have the pamplets for weeks 1-12, the Getting Started, Dining Out Companion, AND the Complete Food Companion. Some are outdated as some restaurant's menus have changed and there are a ton of new products that have come out, but I also found THREE point finder sliders and my activity points tracker. So I am all set.
As I looked through my materials, I got really sad and disgusted with myself. I looked at my membership books with my weekly weigh ins....and noticed star after star and loss after loss. I found my Lifetime Membership booklets - yes I am a Lifetime Member. And I looked where I attempted to return after regaining 10 lbs (145 lbs) in March of 2007. The 145 lb entry was the ONLY one in my new book! I even got teary eyed thinking to myself "HOW DID I LET MYSELF RETURN TO THIS SIZE?!" I've already lost over 10 lbs, why didn't I keep going when I was only 145?! WHY WHY WHY?!
I didn't dismiss those feeling, nor did I immediately tell myself to move on, or that its okay because I am losing now. I allowed (almost forced) myself to feel it. Absorb the shame, disappointment, disgust, frustration - all of that. I want to remember how I feel and how difficult it has been to lose the weight a second time so that there will not be a third. I'm not angry with myself, but just severely disappointed. I can and will do better - this is another reminder that I will never return to this size and weight again.
So as I was experiencing all these emotions, I decided I am back to the point system. I realize that some things have changed since the 5 years I have done the program. But I will be doing it the way I was "taught." I am allowed a measly 22 points per day plus 35 "flex" points per week to be used in any way I see fit. Daily, I am to consume: 5 servings of fruits/veggies, 6 glasses of water minimally, 2 "healthy" fats, 2 daily servings. AND I AM TO TRACK MY POINTS! The most important part for me!
Also, I will be incorporating some things I've learned over the past few months from you guys! I will be limiting salt and processed foods and continue to exercise regularly. I will not be utilizing the "activity" points. I don't like the idea of eating more because I've exercised. I understand the theory behind it, but at this point, I am not in agreeance with it for me. I also will be relying on my HEAD to guide me not just the points. I have learned what leaner types of meat are, how to eliminate added fat to my cooking, and how much sodium I should consume daily.
Today was my first day.
- Breakfast: Kroger Sugar Flakes (3 pts) and 1 c Cantaloupe (1 pt)
- Lunch: Subway 6" Ham & Cheese (10 pts), Light Chips (1 pt), Diet Dr. Pepper (0 pts)
- Dinner: Steamed Shrimp and Veggies with A1 Cajan Marinade (2 pts), Homemade Caesar Salad with Light Dressing, No croutons or cheese (2 pts)
- Snacks: Grapes (2 pts), Subway Chocolate Chip Cookie (4 pts)
2 Healthy Fats ☑
5 Fruits/Veggies ☑
6 cups of Water ☑
2 Servings of Dairy ☑
30 Day Shred ☑
I learned from my first bout that going below by a couple of points is okay as long as I don't go below 20 points. Sometimes I would go as low as 18 which is still okay, but not great. However, as you can see, I had a fabulous first day ending up with 24 total points!
I have a couple of BBQ's that I am going to this weekend. I am making cucumber salad for both. I hope there is enough "healthy" side dishes at each. I'm so focused!
I am happy that I am eating well again. I am happy that I am committed to a program again. I am happy that I am losing weight - lol - okay...so that may be a little premature but I AM CLAIMING IT IN ADVANCE! WOOT WOOT!