Now I was thinking..."big-girl" is better than plus-sized???? And I personally have resented the term "thick" because I feel it has began to disguise being overweight. Oh, she's not fat, she's thick!!! I get that men like the curviness, hell I like it on me too! In no way shape or form do I plan to lose my thick thighs or apple bottom. But hell I would like my thighs to stop rubbing together so I can wear a skirt this summer comfortably without chafing!!! So in my head - my friend saying thick instead of owning the reality that she is fat, overweight, obese, or whatever is just a way of telling herself it is okay to be her weight. She is 5'4" and about 240 lbs. She carries it well meaning she is proportioned and her stomach is smaller than her boobs and booty but obviously it is not a healthy weight. As I contemplate what she is telling me, I began to wonder why all these new terms exist for "big girls/plus-sized women"? We only have a couple of age old terms for thin women: skinny, thin, fit, athletic. There is no "BBW" equivalent for being at a healthy weight....those women don't have a "SBW" (small beautiful woman) movement! Is it our way of dealing with self-esteem issues, to invent new terms that we feel more comfortable with?
The largest I have ever been is a size 14 - and I've only been there twice in my life, both times I was only there for a very small amount of time, having to only purchase a couple of staple items in that size (some black pants, a pair of jeans or two, maybe a dress) so many times I understand that I cannot fully relate to issues that some women deal with. However, weight has and will be a struggle for the rest of my life. I know that I have to actively concentrate on eating healthily and exercising regularly FOREVER. So on many levels, I can relate. Speaking purely from my own experiences, whenever I "disguise" my weight gain or try to make myself feel better about it is when it gets worse. Both times I got serious about losing the weight, I accepted the reality that I was at an unhealthy weight and OBESE. I actually owe this all to my doctor, a family physician, who spoke to me gently but candidly about my weight in January of 2005. He pulled out his BMI calculator and said to me, given your family history, we do want to do something about your weight. I know it is a sensitive subject, but right now, where you are (I was 173-174...same as this time when I started) your BMI is 32 and you are obese. That word had NEVER EVER entered my head to describe myself. I was shocked into a reality check and once I realized the seriousness of the situation, I immediately signed up for Weight Watchers and lost the weight.
This time around, I said to myself, this is it, you are never doing this again. I am over beating myself up about being back here but I know in the deepest parts of my soul, that this is and will be the final diet for me. I will never ever ever return to this weight again. Not never, not ever. But calling myself thick, big, heavy, even fluffy....that was not going to work for me, it was just a way for me to accept being fat.